Living with Elves

I have for some time suspected that something was different about my family.   And it was when we visited Lapland that I first uncovered the truth.   I soon discovered with absolute certainty that I share my life with two Elves.  

Elf School Diploma

Apart from dropping by to see Santa, there were two other very important reasons to make the journey.  Mark always wraps the presents in our house.  He’s been trained specially at Elf school, you see.  His present wrapping license expiring, he had to return to Elf school for a refresher before it could be renewed.  And as for Lauren, now that she had turned seven, she had been called up to attend Elementary Elf School.  Which she did with great enthusiasm and where she was to pass with flying colours.

My two now fully-fledged Elves are invariably up to tricks.  They have finely honed the Elvin arts of Elf tiptoeing, Elf peeking and Elf capers, each one forever trying to outdo the other.    There is not a day goes past in our house without some sort of Elvin prank.  

Elf Peeking in Progress

After an entire day of miserable rain, Mark was doing some jobs out in the garden.  Lauren decided to Elf tiptoe up on him in the shed – to scare him out of his wits.  She crept around completely silently - as is required when engaged in Elf tiptoeing.  If you can be heard, even the slightest rustle of clothes or the lightest of footfalls, then you are truly not an Elf!  

She slowly and silently pulled on the first of her wellies.  Suddenly a blood-curdling screech filled the air.  There was Lauren - hopping around on one bare foot, wellie upturned in hand, which – just like her other foot, was dripping cold custard all over the utility room floor.  1-0 to Daddy in Elf capers today!

So that’s how it goes at ours.  Sometimes it’s hard living with Elves.

The Budding Poet

Stormy Sea

Stormy Sea 

by Lauren, aged 71/2

Clouds swirling into the sky

Lightening as bright as the sun

Thunder as loud as a cowbell

The sea goes up into the sky like a volcano erupting

The waves rush onto the shore

The sea splashes in the wind

The sea starts to turn black

The sea crashes like cymbals

The white fome looks like horses galliping

The waves are rumbling like a huge washing mashen

Then the waves start to bang and bash against the shore

And the sea began to howl and scream

It started to pour with rain

Subliminal Messaging?

Unconscious Persuasion

“Can I have a dog, mum?” 

“Dad, pleeeaaassseee can we get a dog, I’ll look after it – honestly, I will”

Lauren is desperate for a dog.  She loves animals, and dogs most of all.  So, at least once a week we hear her entreaty for a beloved pet.

But I’m not budging. I know who will end up looking after it.  I know who will have to feed it, get up in the night to tend to it, clear up after it, groom it, walk it in all weathers, and above all pick up its poo!   I can assure you, I’m really not the type that picks up dog poo.

On the other hand, I was not the type that changed baby’s nappies either.  Nor someone that coped with baby sick, dribble and sticky hands.  But I contended with all that.  And, still smiling, I came out the other side.  I may have been covered in dribble, I may have found bits of old food attached to various parts of me and my best clothes may have been daubed with sticky finger marks.  But I learned to love it all.

I'm convinced that Lauren believes I can be won over.  That she is hoping I’ll feel the same way about a dog – that once we have it I won’t be able to help myself falling in love with it.  And, once smitten, I’ll willingly do all those things for it that right now I’m absolutely NOT prepared to do.

She’s filling the house with doggy things.  We have doggy books, doggy pictures, doggy ornaments, jewelry with dogs on, no end of toy dogs with clothes, beds, food bowls and the rest of their doggy paraphernalia.  And each toy dog has his name like a real pet – Biscuit, Scruffy, Jasper, Love, Mr Softy….so it goes on.  Truly, I’m being driven to distraction with doggyness.

And now this.  The most ingenious method to date – subliminal messages.  I hadn’t even noticed it until a friend pointed it out to me.  Every time I walk into the kitchen I get the same subconscious appeal from the magnet board.  Without even realising I’ve been asked again.

“can mum and dad get me a big dog”

And do you know, I’m inexplicably warming to the idea.

Good times

Lauren and me

As a working mum, I am always giving myself a hard time about not being able to spend more time with Lauren.  Trying to squeeze in time for her after a ten hour day spent commuting and working often leaves me feeling frazzled.  I’d love to work less (or not at all) and be at home more.  But working brings in that second wage which allows us to do all the other things we love to do.  

 

Of course, these financial needs are not the only ones to be considered.  There is the need for intellectual stimulation as well.  I took a step back from my career after Lauren was born, choosing to work part time and taking a job with less responsibility.   My priorities had changed.  No longer was I inclined to work, work, work silly hours.  But I still needed to feel connected to the rest of the world and know that I still had a brain.  I also enjoy going into the office and spending time with my colleagues – just being me, rather than being defined as “Lauren’s mum”.

So I absolutely love being able to take time off during the school holidays to do stuff with Lauren.  And over Easter we crammed in as much as possible.  All the better for having been blessed with the most glorious April – the hottest on record – with temperatures soaring to 27 degrees !

We took a trip to the cinema with Lauren’s friend Emily, picked some new books out at the Library, managed a bit of girlie shopping and lunching and had a lovely afternoon  at The Discovery Centre with Libby (where we happily and unexpectedly bumped into some other friends too).  Later in the week eleven of us had a picnic out at the Forest of Marston Vale, Lauren went to Gulliver’s World with her dad (I wimped out of that one - me and fairground rides do not get on!) and we achieved another successful girlie shopping and lunch trip.  The week culminated in a mammoth BBQ with the neighbours - good food, good wine, good company, GREAT water fights.

I feel really fortunate to have struck a great balance in my life, one from which I think the whole family benefits.  And best of all?  I have a bright, well balanced (if a little crazy) daughter, who is - above all - happy.

The ABC of Mothers

A Mother's Day Dictionary

At the beginning of April, it was Mothering Sunday in the UK.  Along with three hand-made cards, a box of chocolates, a bunch of flowers and a hand-made drinks coaster, came an unexpected and completely charming Mother's Day Dictionary.

Lauren and her classmates had each been given the task of coming up with a word to describe their mothers from each letter of the alphabet.  They then carefully wrote their words into a booklet and rounded it off with a picture of their choice.

These thoughtful and adorable gifts were a big hit with the mums, and I am sure they will be one of those keepsakes saved for the memory box.

Here is mine.  In her own words.

A Mother's Day Dictionary

by Lauren

                                             Amazing

                                             Butaful

                                             Cook lovely meuls

                                             Delitful

                                             Exalent

                                             Fantastic

                                             Great

                                             Helpful

                                             I love you so much !

                                             Joyful

                                             Kind 

                                             I Love you

                                             Marvelos

                                             Nice

                                             Oh so lovely !

                                             Pretures (precious)

                                             Qeen of the house

                                             Relly pretty

                                             Super mum

                                             Totely great

                                             Unbellivaball

                                             Very good

                                             Wonderful mum

                                             Xtremley lovely

                                             Your food is lovely

                                             You give me a kiss wen I go Zzzzzz

Meet the Grandkids

It's a fact.  Lauren is going to marry Jamie.  Lauren knows it.  Jamie knows it. It's been that way since they could talk.  It never changes, never waivers, neither of them ever, ever has another love, not even briefly.

Now the children are being planned.  I am hoping that it will be a good twenty years before they arrive, after all Lauren and Jamie are only 7.  There will be a girl (the older sister) Lilly, and a boy, Ben. 

Lilly was my maternal grandmother and the name I wanted for my daughter.  But when Lauren arrived, she just wasn't a Lilly.  But I told Lauren this story, and she liked the name for her own daughter.  And Ben?  He was an old love of Lauren's from Orchard Nursery, from before she met Jamie.  Lauren's favourite teddy is also named Ben, so I am sure she still carries a torch for him.

Lauren drew pictures of her children, to show us what they will look like.  A little of her, a little of Jamie.

So, I'd like to introduce Lilly and Ben.  My grandchildren.....

Lilly

Ben

Ladies What Lunch

Last weekend, nine aspiring “ladies that lunch” did exactly that – well not exactly that, it was afternoon tea to be precise.   The occasion?  A celebration of the impending nuptials of one of our party.  Off we went to London, for a weekend of sophisticated entertainment that encompassed champagne, swanky central London hotel, champagne, afternoon tea, champagne, midnight show at “The Comedy Store”, a bit of shopping at “Harrods” and finally more champagne before setting off for home.

The Grosvenor Hotel

Afternoon tea at the Grosvenor Hotel was fabulous.  On arrival, we were greeted by the courteous doorman and directed to the Park Room where afternoon tea is served.  In this elegant room, which overlooks Hyde Park we chose “Anna’s Tea” - named after the Duchess of Bedford who is credited with starting this very English tradition. 

Anna's Tea

Anna’s Tea included a selection of delicate sandwiches – smoked salmon, chicken and tarragon, beef and horseradish, prawn with rosemarie sauce, egg mayonnaise and – of course – sliced cucumber.  Next came the scones, served up with lashings of thick, juicy strawberry jam and luscious, velvety clotted cream.  By the time we had put those away, we were all feeling rather over indulged.  But who could resist the selection of cakes and pastries, so temptingly flaunting themselves on the final tier.  Not any of us, that’s for sure.  So after a suitably polite interval, a few sips (or gulps in some cases) of champagne to wash it all down, we set about these final delicacies.  The whole spread was accompanied by a delicious selection of 17 different blends of tea from around the world.  The conventional brews of Earl Grey, Darjeeling, Assam, English Breakfast, Afternoon Tea and so on were joined by the celebratory Royal Wedding Blend which is being served in honour of the upcoming marriage of William and Kate.

The whole event was superb, if somewhat extravagant, but definitely something to be experienced and I would thoroughly recommend it as an option for a special occasion.

Anna’s Tea

Afternoon tea is said to have originated with Anna, 7th Duchess of Bedford, whilst living at Woburn Abbey.  During the 18th century, dinner began to be served later and later.   By the early 19th century, in fashionable circles dinner might not be served until 8pm.  An extra meal – luncheon – had been created to fill the midday gap between breakfast and dinner, but as this meal was very light it left people feeling hungry mid-afternoon.  The Duchess began to ask that a tray of tea, bread & butter and cakes be served to her as an afternoon snack.  This became a habit of hers and she soon began inviting her friends to join her.  Afternoon tea quickly became an established custom in middle and upper class households.  Society ladies would change into long gowns, gloves and hats for afternoon tea in the drawing room between four and five o’clock.